You need to discover who you are now and how you’ve changed and grown. You need to let that pain out so you can let it go and it’s going to be almost impossible to do this while they’re still so present in your life. Lock down your social media and phone so that you’re not tempted to pick at those scabs. One of the most difficult parts of building and maintaining a friendship after you’ve broken up is adjusting to the difference in intimacy.
It’s tempting to assume that, seeing as you’ve been swapping bodily fluids before, that there’s no reason you can’t be as open with one another as you were before you broke up. Just because you were super close before doesn’t mean that you can maintain that same level of total disclosure that you had now that you’re no longer together.
Let’s be honest: how much do you want to know about your ex’s love-life?
Most of the time, when you’ve broken up, it’s for a very good reason.
Staying around one another – even when you both swear that you’re over it – almost always means that all you’re doing is prolonging the breaking-up portion of your relationship, which is an excellent way to ensure that you be friends afterwards.
While breaking up certainly doesn’t mean your relationship was a failure, you are facing an ending and those tend to be sad.
Trying to force a friendship too early means you’re going to fall right back into old patterns with your ex and that spells trouble.
“I thought the recent strange behaviour and care with his phone was because he was planning a big surprise for our anniversary. “It was too complicated a set of feelings; the fury, the devastation, the rehashing of our lives together in the middle of the night, questioning every lovely moment we’d shared.
It was a blur, but I emerged eight months later a stone heavier and feeling like I needed to do something to move on.” So Elizabeth tried online dating and, while she says it certainly had its frustrating moments, after eight months she met Andrew, 51 and they are planning to move in together in time for Christmas.And since most online dating sites allow you to search according to different criteria, you can focus on what’s important to you. Sending someone a quick message saying that you saw their profile and wanted to get in touch is a great way to get the conversation started, and much easier than going up to someone in a bar!To be fair, many times, people will say this because it’s expected; a social nicety that’s supposed to ease the sting of a break-up that usually feels more like a sharp kick to your soul’s nuts.“You can get to know each other a little bit by emailing one another before deciding whether you’d like to meet up,” she says.“So long as you are careful about meeting in a public place, this can be a fun and relaxed way to meet new people.It becomes part of that awkward “so, what are we supposed to say?