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My sweet, wonderful husband and I have been married for 24 years. Now, over the years I've come to appreciate the things he's interested in, and vice versa, but we each still have our own hobbies. And after 24 years, we share a couple decades of life experiences. My partner and I are both have craft hobbies, she knits, I photograph and we have shared political views but the thing that makes us work, IMO, is that we are both at a similar level of emotional maturity and I think that this is the ingredient for a good relationship.
For this reason, while relying on shared interests may be a great way to meet someone and get to know them better, I would caution against making them a precondition of a relationship (or a deal-breaker that prevents one).
Ideally, you should find someone who appreciates your interests and indulges them when possible, or at least tolerates them in good humor.
And if your relationship is faltering, don’t rely on shared interests to hold it together—in the end, you’ll lose your partner and possibly also your passion for the interest that was important to you long before the other person was.
---- I thank Lauren Hale for invaluable input on this blog post.
Then when it didn’t work out they’d feel badly…about themselves.
No, not the guy who said all of these offensive things or treated a woman disrespectfully.Even though, as I said, I never shared a lot of interests with my partners, something still stirs when I watch a movie or go to a restaurant we both liked.I would imagine that would happen much more often if someone shared a major life passion with their partner, like going to jam band shows, literary readings, or basketball games, things that you consider central to your life and identity and now are inextricably linked with a former partner.I shared no major interests with any of my partners; our bonds were based on compatible personality traits and mutual attraction.Of course, those relationships all ended, so that may not speak well for my attitude toward shared interests!Brothers Max and Spencer Ernst lead the propulsive, pop production, while vocalist Chelsea Lee adds a healthy dose of humanity to the proceedings.“Too Much” comes off SHAED’s forthcoming debut full-length album due out later this year via Photo Finish Records.