Questions in dating

This might not be important to you, but it might be. Why: The main point here is not to jump to assumptions about your date's politics. Why: If your date is exploring a relationship with someone else you might want to push pause at the end of your first date but offer them the opportunity to get back in touch with you if the other relationship doesn’t work out. Especially in the age of internet dating, people sometimes meet multiple people they’re interested in around the same time.

Why: This will tell you about your date’s preferences and also if they're someone who tends to reflect on experiences and can talk about their thoughts. Why: Tells you something about whether they seek out new experiences. What are your thoughts about the upcoming election (any upcoming election)?

Why: You likely have a preference one way or the other. However it's good to know what you're getting yourself in for before you start to get attached to someone.

If you try to be too careful with what you say, this is likely to backfire. Why: Whatever you're really passionate about, do they respect it? If you jump to an assumption that they have the same politics as you, they might feel too awkward to say that their politics are different. To take some of the pressure off during first dates, remind yourself: (a) that you each have 50% of the responsibility for how the conversation flows, and (b) you can only control how someone reacts to you to a limited extent. You can read my prior articles for Psychology Today here. Why: Helps you plan future dates but also gives you an opportunity to choose not to pursue dating someone who has very incompatible food preferences from you. Purchase my book The Anxiety Toolkit You can get an email alert whenever Dr Alice Boyes writes a new blog article - Subscribe.No one wants to date some one who does not talk, is boring or nervous. The trick is to select from among these the questions that are closest to your heart and whose answers are important to you.

So dating experts advise that short of having a paper full of questions, you must be ready with a list of interesting, impressive and enjoyable questions that will keep the conversation thriving in those five-ten minutes. You must go about the dating event with a positive attitude. Also remember never to be tongue-tied and paralyzed if you can't remember the important questions; there are so many inane things to discuss and enjoy! Why: Are they very involved with their family of origin? Alice's Twitter @Dr Alice Boyes photo credits: Pink Sherbet Photography, Www.One thing you really don’t have is the luxury of time.If you are tongue-tied, you are out of the picture. There are numerous other questions you can ask on a speed date if you rack your brains.The chemistry is off the charts, and you're never at a loss for what to talk about.