Please note that the following is based on my personal experience and that not everybody out there is like that.
In relationships where the man is foreign I noticed that they mostly speak his native language.
Japanese men seem to expect certain things from a woman.
Some of us will go through a hard time here in Japan.
You’ll start to feel completely unattractive and ignored at times.
Of course, you get a lot of attention and there’s all this staring, but it’s not because anybody is flirting with you … It might be a different story in bigger cities such as Tokyo and Osaka with a more international community, but in smaller cities and in the countryside with more traditional ideals it can be very difficult for foreign women.
I personally know a few couples where either the man or the woman is foreign and I noticed quite a lot of differences in the kind of relationship they have.
They’re not afraid of showing their feelings in public or telling their girls flat out how they feel about them. The extreme version of this is known as “gaijin hunter” and some will do everything for the sake of having one of those adorable “half”-kids (half Western, half Japanese) just to toss their foreign guy later on.
For foreign women it’s a completely different story.
This is partly a function of being a woman who would, if she had her way, please and comfort her entire universe of acquaintances, and partly a function of having been convinced at a relatively young age by the argument that Janet Malcolm famously made in Breakups have a way of robbing you of your identity, especially when you’re the one who’s being broken up with.
If the union was worth joining in the first place, severing it disrupts your habits, your decision-making, your system of loving. You don’t even get to keep them in a jar of formaldehyde. After nearly fourteen years of operation, will be shutting down next week.
A lot of Japanese women want a guy that tells them several times a day how much he loves them.
For some reason (maybe through the consumption of too many Hollywood movies) Japanese women think that foreign men are like that!
However, be warned: If you want to read about bragging stories of all those Western guys who get laid a hundred times per day, then you came to the wrong place. You certainly won’t find that here – and not from a foreign girl like me!