Perhaps you’d like to make the bedroom a smartphone/tablet-free area, so you can concentrate on each other – chatting over the day or having sex together.What about meal times, when you’re watching the TV or going out together?Most men hardly talk to their friends and text conversations / joke sharing on twitter etc happen only sporadically.
That brings up a whole range of new dilemmas: In the happiest marriage, it is easy for technology to intrude and come between you and your partner.
So even if your suspicions are ungrounded, it is worth having a debate about when and where it is acceptable to use your smartphone.
We separated for one week and after discussions and an agreement that he would not contact this woman we decided to get back together.
One month later, I checked his phone and found he had saved the woman’s number under another name and had been phoning her constantly, and texting her at 2am when I went to bed and also throughout the day – even when he went to the shops to get nappies.
However, it can equally be a sign that the ‘friendship’ has moved to the next phase and your husband knows either consciously or unconsciously that he has something to hide. Does he seem to find constant fault or is irritable and snappy for no reason?
This is because he’s looking for reasons to justify his bad behaviour, so what used to mildly annoying has become proof, in his mind, that your relationship is fundamentally flawed.
Miners used to take canaries down pits to warn of the approach of harmful gasses.
If the canary died, it signalled the need for a quick exit.
He is either in denial about the proper nature of this relationship or he believes that cheating involves having sex (or has persuaded himself their intimate contact was ‘just a kiss’ – so doesn’t count).
In my opinion, it is the pattern of communication that’s most worrying – even more so than the content.
If you’re still at a loss, discuss whether the kids take up too much of your time and the state of your sex life.