(And “sitch” is, of course, short for “situation.”)- L. The Solution: “Call and say ‘I’m sorry, and this is about me and not you, but I just don’t feel comfortable with a man supervising an overnighter,’ ” says Paone.The Sitch: You’ve accepted a sleepover invite for your daughter, not realizing that only her pal’s divorced dad will be home. Offer to host the girls at your place instead, if you can, or ask to turn the sleepover into a “late-over,” where your daughter stays only till bedtime.
That is not to say that no effort goes into the relationship – my statement is that the work that the relationship takes doesn’t feel like effort… a meaningful contribution to something worthy, fulfilling and great.
People are so quick to snap up something half-hearted and then try to make that half-hearted relationship into something more.
Right off the top, you mentioned that you and he have agreed to be exclusive.
It’s reasonable to interpret that as meaning you’ve agreed to not date anyone or sleep with anyone else, but I want to ask: when you agreed to be exclusive, how did this come about?
In the future, always ask who’ll be on duty before you say yes to a sleepover.
Lenore here again: Because…a man is assumed to be a predator unless his wife is around? Would it possibly make more sense to (as I always suggest) teach your child to recognize, resist and report abuse, rather than to assume the very worst is going to happen when they encounter a male of the species? This is thanks, in part, to your excellent comments and questions from the audience.As such, some of the comments (which I have preserved) bring up points that I have since addressed in this revision.Your motivations for checking up on this are worth looking at, though, because it gives me the feeling that either something inside you feels like you don’t quite trust this guy or that you don’t trust the relationship you’re in to have trust as a quality (and so you’re always checking and testing because you don’t have that trust to begin with…this is separate, but I want to address it for your sake in general).If I were in your shoes, I would say something along the lines of: “Hey listen…