Worst of all, my once cool and carefree George Clooney became something of a dyspeptic George Formby as he fussed over dirty spots on the window pane, creases on the sheets and any use of cream or butter which he insisted would give him a heart attack.
I saw myself becoming a carer, and worse, being coerced into a life the elderly lead; sedentary and safe, punctuated with formal soirees for his doddery friends, the wives of whom disliked and distrusted me for my comparative youth.
My beau was sophisticated, intelligent and exuded the allure that comes with a rarefied lifestyle.
By then, my male contemporaries had married and started families, as well as successful careers.To my chagrin, I now saw them and their wives in the swish and swanky restaurants and hotels I had thought my exclusive province.When I asked where her husband was, she replied he was having treatment for prostate cancer.When I asked after her children, she revealed they didn’t have any. The financier was a military buff and the lawyer liked mechanical birds.I felt spoiled, adored and privileged by a man who bore a passing resemblance to George Clooney. An ‘afternoon nap’, that lovely euphemism for midday hanky-panky, became a real afternoon nap.
Meanwhile, the men my friends were becoming engaged to looked like Michael Gove. The city bustle I adored was pronounced ‘unhealthy.’ At weekends we drove to a desolate moor in order to fill his lungs with fresh air.
As our generation gets a little older, a surprising number of us are putting on our dancing shoes and getting back in the senior dating game.
After all, more women over 60 are single than ever before, whether that’s due to divorce or widowhood or just never having been married in the first place.
I was a size 8, but he told me I was as fat as a barrel.
I would dissolve in tears until I began to interpret his attacks as a form of control exercised by a man who was growing insecure.
Moreover, to paraphrase Zsa Zsa Gabor, what good was something hard on your finger when your man has gone soft, even after a double dose of Viagra?