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The sound can be commanding, harsh, sweet, submissive, uncertain and everything in between. Experiment with what feels good to you (and to the one receiving, by watching their response).

If you are physically engaging with your partner while you are talkin’ dirty make sure your body reflects your words. Please don’t use words that make you (or your partner) uncomfortable; work your way up if you both want to.

You feel that you aren’t able to show your sexual being through sound, through mime, through your body’s movement and also not through your words?

If you are a quiet, introvert lover and you feel that there must be more to it, I tell you, there is a way of becoming more active: Learn to become a dirty talk master and overcome that stuckness.

But you just haven’t gotten to the point of spitting those thoughts and words out in a hands-on situation. For now be grateful for already having those thoughts.

Maybe you have a few fantasies but haven’t taken action on the dirty talk front yet?

Like: “You taste so good” “Your skin is so soft” “I feel hot” “I feel turned on” “Oh, that feels so good! Some folks love dirty talk and it makes them crazily horny, others don’t like it at all. Dirty talk during sex is not about hurting anyone, it’s a mental flirt, a turn on. Takeaway: Once you have your partner’s blessing, experiment and try things out. If you are planning on some seductive sentences make sure it fits into your conversation.

” Takeaway: It’s more important how you say it, than what you say. What’s important for you to know is that for the ones who enjoy it, the way they like it might vary. So before you go hard-core make 100% sure your significant other is actually into it. Ask dirty questions; maybe you feel like trying a roleplay that Seani Love shared in my Conscious BSDM podcast- pirate treasure hunt…. You are on a date with your sweetheart and it’s your weekly date night. Don’t talk about yourself too much, or your future plans or serious stuff if you are about to throw out some naughty words. How about you create a fantasy together, so while you are sitting in a restaurant, share something you would like to do to him or her.

Your lover might positively freak out if you suddenly use the f-word especially if you hardly ever use it. In the beginning your colors might be very gentle and vague, and the more you work on it the more colorful and confident your painting gets.

Conscious dirty talk is like a secret you have with your sweetheart. Examples for more hard-core phrases: “I want to lick your pussy” “Fuck me in my ass” “Spray your juice in my face” (in case your man is not a Tantric :-)) Another way of getting creative with dirty talk is describing what you feel during sex. If you know what makes your partner hot, you feel more confident doing it. It’s figureoutable (thanks Marie Forleo for this awesome expression).

I used to be anxious about expressing my sexual being.

So I just stayed quiet; maybe the most I could get out of my throat was a little moan. Do you feel you aren’t confident enough to fully show your sexual expression?

Again, all this has to be comfortable for both of you.